Tag Archives: encouragement

Happy Anniversary, MS….

Its been 10 years to the day…. not 10 years since I developed MS but 10 years since my diagnosis.  I can’t remember what I had for dinner last night but I can remember the phone call and all that led up to the diagnosis…  I’ve written about all this before.

I’ve been thinking about what I would like to post today (besides vowing to post more).   I don’t think I want to write about too many details of the diagnosis.  But I would like to recognize my blessings and offer encouragement.

I know that a lot of people experience a lot of things/illnesses that shape their lives and by no means do I want to seem like an ‘everything is terrible’ blog post writer.    But things have changed a lot for me.   I am no where near the person I thought I’d be at this point in my life.  I grieve that.  It makes me mad.   The fatigue issue and the walking issue really get me.  I’m on a cane now,  I wear an AFO.    I envy those that can wear those awesome high heels.

So I struggle with the discrepancy with where I am and where I thought I would be.  I struggle with accepting God’s will for my life.   Am I telling Him that His design for my life is just not good enough?  I hope not.   I pray for His will to be shown for my life and when it is/was, I was surprised.   I read an article the other day that I want to quote… the article appeared in HomeLife and is not about illness but I love this quote:

“Before, I prayed, ‘if the Lord wills’ such and such will happen.  After, I realized that I didn’t mean it when I said it.  I said, ‘If the Lord wills,’ but I never honestly thought that my plans for life wouldn’t be His plans.  I was smitten with the illusion of control.  If I just worked hard enough, prayed hard enough, lived right enough, things would work out.  Now when I say, ‘Tomorrow I will do this or that,’  I don’t have any illusion that it will happen… unless the Lord wills.” (Ron L. Deal)

I would love to take MS and toss it over a cliff.  But I can’t.   When I take the time to look past myself and all the things that I think I need and want,  I can see how much God has blessed me.   Especially with my husband.   He has been my staunch advocate.  He does more reading on MS that I have ever done.    He is continually thinking of ways to make my life easier.   He loves me.   And I love him.    Which brings me to my kids, who have really seen too much.   Our son was 9 and our daughter was 12 when I was diagnosed.    They are so used to all of this…   I was working full time when I was diagnosed and taking them to school.    One blessing I can name off the top of my head is the fact I got to be at home with them during the last years of their schooling.    And I got to see them grow into the wonderful people they are.

Have another good day!!

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