My 30th high school reunion is coming up.
Yesterday was a weird day. I guess it was my day to run into people I went to high school with.
Yesterday morning, I sort of ran into the guy who took me to the Senior prom. I know that he and his family live nearby and I know that he has at least five kids. I was going in to vote and he was coming out with some of his daughters. I was feeling pretty good at that moment and said “Hi”. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and said “Hi”. He was probably afraid. I was a strange one at the end of my senior year. He took me and my friend and her boyfriend ice skating after graduation. I don’t remember much about that day except being scared that he was going to try to hold my hand. I remember thinking he was a wimp because he was allergic to sesame seeds. Anyway, my friend took me into the ladies locker room at the skating rink and said ” ‘X’ thinks you don’t like him.” I said “Why?” She said “Because you won’t SKATE with him.” Well, I guess he got the message. I never heard from him or for that matter, my friend, again. She went off to college and wouldn’t return my phone calls. I did get an invite to her wedding, so there’s that.
Then later on in the day, I ran into a person that made my senior year very hard (well, hell) for me. I had run into him a few times since graduation. (I know, I know… its been 30 years) Never once had he spoken to me. Until yesterday. Oh geez. He jumped up and hugged me and started talking. Introduced me to his wife and two boys. While I stood there, dumbstruck, next to my husband (who happens to be the love of my life) , all of a sudden he was an old buddy, old pal. The things he said (and did) during my senior year hurt me very much. If I had been smart and up front with my parents, I could have transferred to public school. But I didn’t. I was determined that I would not be ‘run off’ from school.
While everything is ok now, I still think about that time in my life with my 17 year old mind. Like everyone is exactly like they were 30 years ago. I expected him to be the person he was then. And he’s not. Heck, I’m not the person I was 30 years ago. (Thank goodness.)
He mentioned the 30 year reunion, I still don’t know if I’ll go. I swore the night I graduated that I would never, ever go back. And I haven’t.
PS. When I was pregnant with my son, a girl I went to school with called to invite me to our 15th(??). I told her forget it. That I don’t know why they kept inviting me because I wasn’t going to be there. Oh boy, no wonder she won’t talk to me in the grocery store. But I was hormonal. Doesn’t that count for anything???
I should be going to church this morning but I haven’t slept too well in about 3 days so… that means it’ll be naptime during the sermon. Only one thing is worse than being sleepy in church and that is being sleepy during a meeting at work. Heck, I’m sleepy writing this post. Complete with the head nodding, dragging feeling.
I decided that I wouldn’t go anywhere yesterday. I thought I would stay at home, do a few chores then do some artwork. I would up staying home but I didn’t get anything done. However last night, my husband and I hung out in our office. I started a collage and he worked on the computer. But that was it.
I felt so out of it. I felt like I was in one of those commercials where people are zooming by and the person just stands there. Everyone was busy doing their own thing and I was busy waiting on them to get to whereever it was they were going and THEN I would do what I wanted to do.
I should never wait on stuff like that. Its a bad habit I have. Like I cant do art until everyone else is settled. I should do my own thing THEN they can catch up with me.
Art of the day. I used modeling paste for this. It was a lot of fun and was my only attempt at it. I had modeling paste from from one end of my table to the other! 🙂
Seven years ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
Now that was a bad day. But it was a good day too. That’s the day I found out what the heck was wrong with me. The journey to the diagnosis started almost on the same day (January 5) in 1998. I had a doozy of a bout of optic neuritis in my right eye. I’ve posted about all this before. So I wont revisit those details.
Today has not been a good ‘word’ day. I find myself searching for words when speaking with someone and I’m finding that I’m still searching for the right words as I’m writing this.
I guess I just wanted to acknowledge this anniversary to myself. I wanted to think about the stuff we (my family and I) have been through since then.
I have a list of about 12 things (including a heart attack for my husband and adult onset diabetes for me) that I could outline here. I’m not going to do that. I will say that I’ve been blessed. I’ve been able to be home over the last 3 1/2 years and have seen my kids grow into their wonderful selves and I’ve seen true grit, love, perseverance and determination develop in my husband. I’ve seen how strong he truly is. Things have changed for the better between us. And for that, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’m not thrilled to have MS but I know for sure: “… that all things work together for good to them that love God…”
This is my ‘old lady angel’. That’s what I call her. She’s been around for some time now and I never knew what to do with her until this holiday season. So I glued her to a piece of watercolor paper and added the lettering. I was going to put her on my refrigerator in the ‘hall of fame of random stuff.’ But she was too heavy for the magnets, so now shes back on my art table to make me smile when I sit down to work.
I took a class a couple of summers ago called ‘pulled art’. Where you wet a paper bag or paper that is similar to a paper bag, scrunch it up, flatten it out, wet it some more, then scrunch it up some more, then add layers of paint, colored pencil, crayon, markers and whatever else you can think of to ‘pull’ out an image. It’s like looking at clouds and trying to see and image or shape, then building on that image. I remember being frustrated during the class but not knowing why. It was like I just didn’t get it. I think that it was a challenge to my imagination and creativity and my ability to let go. Totally different from what I was expecting but in a good way.
I’ll post more once I get batteries for my camera! 🙂